Posted by Jeremy Shulkin

Yes, the MTV reality show “Jersey Shore” can make you hate humanity, but

This is what you get when you google image search "masshole"

it’s also self-affirming in the way only something that chronicles a summer of self-proclaimed “guidos” and “guidettes” going through a daily routine of drinking, throwing up, tanning, lifting weights, drinking, throwing up, punching/getting punched in the face, drinking and throwing up (again) can. You (ok, I) watch it because it’s not you (me) who feels the bruising and ten Long Island Iced Teas the morning after.

But what if the demographic was more closely aligned; something easier to identify with? Instead of setting the show in New Jersey and featuring a rather focused sub-group, news/entertainment website proposes that next season MTV move on to a better-known classification around these parts: the Masshole.

“MTV needs a new tribe to study. Lucky for them, there’s a group of feisty young people just a few hundred miles north on the Atlantic coast. They’re called Massholes. Though there is some disagreement about what, exactly, constitutes a Masshole, there are several characteristics present in all definitions. A Masshole is a resident of Massachusetts—though sometimes Rhode Island, New Hampshire, or Maine—who possesses a nearly carnal love for the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics, and Bruins; operates motor vehicles in an aggressive fashion; drinks Sam Adams; and overuses the adjective wicked.”

The author, Jessica Grose, also gives a list of hypothetical cast members, including a Worcesterite:

“Sarah ‘Animal’ Conti, 21, Worcester, Mass.
Sarah never goes anywhere without her No. 12 Tom Brady Jersey or her trademark hairdo: a slicked-back ponytail with lots of bobby pins. Her girls back home nicknamed her ‘Animal,’ because when her hair is down, she looks like the eponymous muppet. Also because she drinks like a bear. These are qualities that Fitzy finds hard to resist.”

The article is interesting if you want your reality television series to be a little more regionally relevant, or if you want to know who “Fitzy” is. At the very least it’s an overview of  Masshole-ness.